A Human Approach to Impending Danger

Photo | PTI

Ostriches supposedly bury their heads in the sand when they are threatened or frightened. It is universally agreed that this is the stupidest of moves. My 10 – year old who loves animals, birds and National Geographic busted this myth. She told me that it is an optical illusion because these large birds have disproportionately tiny heads and when they are checking on their eggs which they have laid by digging deep holes in the dirt and building their nests, it looks like they have their heads buried in the sand. Humans on the other hand have a pronounced tendency to stick their heads up their backsides in the middle of a crisis or even otherwise, and that I am afraid is no myth.

For instance, take lockdown 4.0 currently in progress. There are thousands of rules about what the citizens can or cannot do which are disseminated on news channels and via Whatsapp forwards. Thousands of Covid - related circulars have been issued by the Central and state governments to clarify or counter instructions given in circulars circulated earlier and we can expect thousands more to ‘clarify’ the clarifications. It is a vicious circle and the end result is chaos. The only thing that is crystal clear is that none of the people who have been entrusted with the fate of the nation have a clue about what ought to be done.

Sample this. Liquor shops were opened across the length and breadth of the country thanks to government orders. According to some statistics I dredged up from the internet more people die every hour from alcohol – related issues than Corona at its most contagious. And yet, the government in its infinite wisdom decides that is imperative that the good citizens be allowed to drink themselves to death and spread the damn virus even as the curve stubbornly refuses to flatten. Given the big bucks liquor sales rake in for the government it is easy to see why such a dubious decision was made even as unemployment rates soar and suicide cases have spiked over people’s inability to make ends make.

Then there is the question of the migrant labourers. The government has opened train services to help them reach their homes, but apparently they have to cough up dough they do not have to avail themselves of these services. According to the Inter – State Migrant Workmen Act, 1979, on cessation of employment, the employer must pay the employee’s fare for their journey home. Why is this law being ignored? Also has any thought at all been put into the fact that this exodus from the red urban zones to the green rural areas heightens the risk of contagion? Also how will businesses that have been re – opened find labourers when they have no idea about how or if the migrant workers will make it back to their jobs?

Then there is the question of population explosion. A top UN body has declared that India is projected to record 20 million births between March and December, 2020. It is a pity that contraceptives are not counted as a must have and no steps are being taken to make them available free of cost for the poor and needy.

There seems to be little preparation or planning for the cataclysmic aftermath of Corona and if we don’t remove our heads from where they are currently lodged at present, they will roll. 

This article was originally published in The New Indian Express.

In low spirits over the sale of liquor

I keep telling myself not to write long posts where I do little more than grouse and grumble over a bunch of things that bug the hell out of me. Something (my blog history) tells me I do that a lot, and whiny monkey is not the best of looks for me. And yet, despite trying to keep my itching fingers away from the keyboard for two whole days, it was inevitable that I caved. How in the name of all things holy and unholy did the government make the unbelievable decision to open liquor store outlets across the length and breadth of the country while the rest of the country languishes in this thrice damned lockdown? How? How? How? Also Why? Why? Why? And WTF?

According to some statistics I dredged up from the internet (which may or may not be 100% accurate) alcohol claims 2,60,000 lives every year, 29 people die every hour from excessive boozing and 712 people die every day as a direct result of swilling alcohol. Even if you stink at mathematical calculations and processing numerical data like yours truly it is still painfully obvious that Corona has nothing on these figures. And yet, the government in its infinite wisdom decides that is imperative that the good citizens be allowed to drink themselves to death and spread the damn virus which has us all in a vise – like grip with the numbers spiking every single day and the curve stubbornly refusing to flatten. Thank you very much, so – called representatives of the people, for the people and by the people!

Of course, if you take a look at the income generated by liquor sales for the government it become crystal clear. The internet was most obliging when it came to providing me with further stats for this post. Studies done in 2018, reveal that the government earns around Rs. 3.10 lakh crore from the sale of alcohol with the 29 states and union territories averaging sales worth Rs. 15,000 crores per month. So big bucks wins over paltry things like safety, ethics and doing the right thing. Every single time.

It is disgusting and all the memes flooding the internet over this god-awful situation doesn’t make it any less awful. With sales being broken and records being set over people’s alacrity in getting their hands on their favourite poison, I am cynical about the shutters coming down anytime soon. Or the booze – hounds and govt. giving a crap about the social – distancing norms that are supposed to be enforced. Sigh!

Perhaps the idea is to encourage people to stay sozzled and clueless about exactly how clueless those who run this country are. I mean they still haven’t made up their minds about whether the migrant workers should be allowed to go home or not, since the economy needs to be kick-started and business men/industrialists chaffing at the bit to begin normal operations cannot be denied much longer. What about the alarming increase in reported instances of physical, emotional, and domestic abuse directed against women, children and the elderly? Allowing these animals access to alcohol is certain to exacerbate the problem. And no, sharing pics of the women who lined up to buy liquor to shame and troll them across social media platforms does little more than draw attention to the rampant sexism ingrained in so many that leads to shameful #boislockerroom situations. Blame the bad habit not the gender of those who indulge in said habit.

I have nothing against people who enjoy the occasional tipple. To each their own.  But having studied addiction in all its terrifying glory all I can say is that it is not a laughing matter when so many make the decision to spend their life in an alcoholic haze, planning their every move to ensure the next fix, endangering the lives of near ones by giving in to violent tendencies because it is easy to blame the booze, driving under the influence knowing that the law enforcers don’t care until innocent people are actually killed and sometimes not even then, blowing up their life’s savings on drink and driving their families to miserable penury until they mercifully drop dead due to alcohol related complications. And no… putting up those irritating disclaimers in every single movie that hits the screens asserting that alcohol drinking is injurious to health and risks life and limb is just not going to cut it when the government remains committed to endangering the lives of its citizens by feeding their addiction in exchange for beaucoup bucks.

As responsible citizens, it is time we put our foot down and stopped patronizing the business interests of those who couldn’t care less about the collective well-being of this great nation and her people. Rather than splurge on booze, perhaps tipplers could use the money to buy meals for the less fortunate. Or swear off intoxicants altogether. That ought to show em!

Check out this article carried by Zee Media Bureau on the economics and statistics of liquor sales that prompted the govt. to encourage its citizens to turn to drink. 

How to Feel Lucky during a Lockdown

It is an understatement to say that not many people are feeling particularly lucky at this moment but the truth is we are all fortunate to live in this particular age. For those wondering if I am writing this from one of those exclusive wellness retreats in the middle of the Sahara frequented by Hollywood hotshots or merely because I have my head firmly lodged up my backside, you couldn’t be more wrong. Like everybody else, I am in lockdown mode, thanks to the damnable pandemic raging across the world. Reduced to missing the Before Corona era while trying to keep up with mounting household chores which eat into all the time everybody else seems to be spending on Netflixing or vegetating on their couches. And worrying about the economic fallout from all this has ensured that I am not in the best or brightest of moods.

Even so, I cannot help but think we have it relatively easy, especially if we were to take a stroll through the darker corridors of a disease – fraught past and witness the devastation caused by deadly epidemics and pandemics that changed the course of history. It must have sucked real bad to be afflicted with leprosy in the middle ages when it was believed that the victims were being punished by God for moral failings. Consequently, they were ostracised and left to rot in isolated colonies. Multiples outbreaks of the bubonic plague also known as the Black Death are believed to have routinely decimated one – third of the population across large swathes of Europe, Asia, Africa and Arabia.

Let us not forget small – pox which originated in Europe but wound up being carried to and ultimately annihilating almost the entire indigenous population in the New World. In India, we are all too familiar with the evils wrought by cholera across the years. Brought to our shores by British soldiers, millions have died and it is to our shame that it remains a dogged killer to this day given our inadequate treatment of sewage, irresponsible garbage disposal, practise of open defecation and lack of access to clean drinking water. In all these instances, the sick seldom had access to decent medical care, were stigmatized and left to die on the streets even as the corpses piled up and no one had the strength left to dig up mass graves.

The Coronavirus on the other hand has a significantly lower mortality rate. More importantly, thanks to cutting edge technology that allows us to communicate instantly and constantly with each other, it is possible to remain well – informed and on top of the situation. We can help one another with money, medical aid and other resources. Even the poor and unfortunate, left stranded when public transport was suspended can make their plight visible thanks to intrepid reporters and social media with the ensuing outcry forcing the government to act. If we can stay calm in the midst of the senseless panic, fear – mongering and conspiracy theorizing there is no reason why we can’t beat this thing. All it takes is sense, strict sanitary measures and a willingness to refrain from blaming each other, Tablighi Jamaat, China or the government for our current predicament.

These are things we would do well to remember and feel grateful for in the middle of a lockdown, particularly when feeling somewhat cranky while knee – deep in dirty dishes and frustration. After all, it could have been so much worse. 

P.S: If my article has failed to make you feel lucky or even a little less lousy about the lockdown, I don’t blame you in the least. 

An edited version of this article was published in The New Indian Express.

Some Wishes on Day 4 of the Lockdown

It is most fortunate that I am dealing with the lockdown with my husband and kids for company. The fridge is reasonably well stocked. There is space enough to go for walks around the house itself and dogs to play with. I am very grateful for my collection of books, the internet and assorted tech. which allow us to reach out to family members and friends, keep ourselves occupied and entertained. Some of us even get to work from home, thanks to trusty laptops and that is such a blessing.  

Not everyone is this lucky though. That nationwide lockdown announced at 8:00 pm to go into effect at 12:00 am clearly took many by surprise and workers belonging to the poorer sections were left stranded far away from their families without any means to commute. Some have been reduced to trekking for hundreds of kilometres with young children on their shoulders without even basic necessities like food and water to keep them going. I can’t even imagine what it must be like for daily wage workers deprived of their livelihoods and left with very little means to fend for themselves. The economic repercussions of this unprecedented global crisis and our collective anxiety over whether we will be able to limp back to a semblance of normalcy is enough to cause most of us to break out into hives, which is why the idea is to keep calm and as busy as possible under the circumstances.

It is what I am doing at any rate with varying degrees of success. On some days, I am so calm and collected, I freak myself out as I do my Yoga, potter about the house cleaning up hitherto neglected corners, participate in fun group activities on Whatsapp groups that mercifully does not include the dissemination of fake news, scary conspiracy theories or bizarre theories for beating Corona, write like a fiend to work my way through the woe, narrate the Mahabharatha to the kids in instalments and get into only mild arguments with the husband over whose turn it is to do the dishes or bring in the clothes.

There are moments when I am a wreck though. There is so much simmering panic over stalled projects on the work front that it is all I can do to keep from bouncing off the walls, while wailing like a demented banshee. The realization that we are barely a few days into the lockdown and it already feels like forever and there are those who are insisting that it could be extended indefinitely freak me out completely. At times, like this my poison is sugar and I love and hate myself for not stocking up on Ferrero rochers, cupcakes, Snickers and bounty bars, cheesecake, and tubs of ice cream having anticipated my tendency to stuff my face in times of stress which have previously resulted in my size ballooning out of all proportion to my optimal weight (not that I am in fine shape at present).

And have I mentioned the ocean of chores! At this point, I miss my maid so much more than I can say. How the dishes pile up! The husband helps out and even the kids wash their plates after they have used it because they are all too aware that a sink full of dirty dishes is one of the things I loathe most in the universe. But even so, I feel like I am knee – deep in the stuff. Even making a cup of coffee or tea fills me with dread because there are going to be mugs, saucepans, and spoons to wash. Don’t even get me started on the terror brought on by cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner! And let us not forget the laundry folks! I am ever so grateful for washing machines but let me confess that it is still a pain in the patootie! No wonder the cavemen limited themselves to bark and animal skins, which could be used and discarded in addition to being totally eco - friendly J

Hermione Granger would disapprove!

Wish there were friendly elves or other magical beings who would invisibly and quietly dust, sweep, swab, do the dishes as well as the laundry, cook me delicious, healthy meals, and give me awesome massages to fix the knotty spots beneath my shoulder blade and the gnarly areas in my lower back. They would be so much cuter than robots who if the Terminator and Matrix movies are to be believed could mean the end of us, (as if we need more end of the world scenarios!). And while I am wishing for the impossible, I wish there were Corona virus fighting sprites who would do battle with this annoying virus and obliterate it from the face of the Earth! 

Since I have whined more than is usual by even my admittedly abysmal standards, I shall sign off with a few lines from a poem penned by my daughter, Veda:

Shine like glitter

Or be calm like water,

Even melt like butter

But don’t rot like the gutter.

Be happy and shine

Don’t be gloomy and whine.