Sometimes the response to a crisis is a lot worse than the crisis itself! |
At times, like this as my Guru Shri Sadhyanandha who
my imaginary shrink (the real ones are too pricey or too reminiscent of
Hannibal Lecter) tells me is merely one among the voices in my head, says, it
is best to turn your gaze outward to better unearth the secrets of the Universe
and coerce the cosmic forces to work in your favour. Thus comfortably ensconced
in your armchair, you can turn a judgemental gaze on everybody else and feel
better about the deficiencies in your own character as well as find a refuge
from your deepest, darkest fear of dying alone from unspeakably gross symptoms
in a hospital bed, a victim of a viral apocalypse.
It is interesting to note the diverse responses
elicited by the Corona threat. Some have become obsessive neat freaks and
compulsive hand washers who would bathe in sanitizer if only the idiotic panic
buyers had not brought out the entire stock. Now that is not a bad thing in a
country like India where most play hard and fast with hygiene, personal or
otherwise. But the flip side is that people who are buying masks like it is
going out of style also toss them out miles away from the nearest overflowing
bin which has not been emptied let alone cleaned out in decades, along with
used tissues, and other objects redolent with assorted disease carrying germs.
But even the litterbugs are not as bad as the recklessly slovenly who lick toilets,
and other objects in public spaces as part of a Corona challenge on Tik Tok. It
makes one wonder why so many fear Corona when it is the supreme human capacity
for being moronic that will be the death of us all.
Social media is a storehouse of information into the
human psyche and it is most revealing if you have the time to waste. Some use
hashtags like #perfectlyimperfect to show off their greys and burgeoning love
handles as they stress eat their way through a global catastrophe while cussing
out a government that does not include beauticians and stylists under essential
services. Does the Supreme Leader not realize that our good looks aren’t the
bounty of Mother Nature but may be solely attributed to oodles of cash and
countless hours sunk into beauty salons? As for those who think a trip to the
bathroom merits a fresh shade of lipstick and a blow out, they are bingeing too
but on steamed broccoli and extra portions of quinoa but only after they have crushed a
six hour plyometric burn session. Some clearly choose to let themselves go when
death may potentially be around the corner while others are just as determined
to look their best.
Newsfeeds, timelines and whatsapp forwards are
unbeatable when it comes to highlighting the contradictory nature of humans.
Many are determinedly positive as they post life – affirming messages,
inspiring quotes, videos of cats cuddling up against patients when not nursing them
back to health and countless pics of people helping each other out with a smile
rendering yeoman service to society. These are convinced that all one needs in
life threatening situations is the right attitude and even the most virulent of
contagions can be wished away by the power of a positive outlook.
The negative Nellies will have no truck with them
though. Dwellers in darkness, the morbidly cynical grapple endlessly with the
hopelessness of the situation. They look for and find all things oppressive,
losing no time to acquaint their followers with graphic images of police
brutality, mobs on rampage in grocery stores with magnificent disdain for
social distancing, fat cat politicians getting stinking drunk at noisy parties
organized smack dab in the middle of a lockdown and old folks dying alone on
pavements having been turned out of hospitals already filled to bursting with the sick, dying and chronic hypochondriacs.
Some are scared silly and spend their days praying
to forgotten deities to keep them safe from unknown terrors, lurking monsters
and killer diseases. Others are reckless, eating, drinking, dancing and
dreaming with abandon committed to ‘sucking the marrow out of life’ even if it
kills them.
Some are so obsessed with Corona, they can't seem to function without being overwhelmed by endless anxiety and tormented by graphic visions of being trapped in a sea of infected phlegm as the virus gets its grasping paws on them. Not everyone can be bothered with Corona though. Not
when there are countless unwatched movies on Netflix, toenails to be painted,
books to immerse oneself in, kids to cuddle and scold, instant noodles to be
consumed, chores to be palmed off on reluctant spouses, and the latest Tik Tok challenge
to be taken on. As for me, it is time for me to make my way to the bottom of a
gallon of ice cream (malted chocolate fudge) before the husband and kids
discover my secret stash and demand their share.
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