There is something portentous about the changing of the decade. For those who are rolling their eyes and want to insist that the new decade doesn’t begin until 2021, I offer as evidence all the glitzy end of the decade parties I haven’t been invited to and beg you to just indulge me. Everybody feels compelled to take stock of their lives which usually involves poring over social media memories. It is a totally worthwhile pursuit that is guaranteed to put a nostalgic smile on your face when you are not bemoaning the fact that you are no longer as young or effortlessly good looking (it is all relative!) as you were ten years ago. So you make a resolution to lose weight and take care of personal wellness, which means making the commitment to eat right, put in a big chunk of your time hitting the gym and frequenting beauty salons. The idea being that if you look like Anushka Sharma or Virat Kohli, you are more likely to emulate their success and hopefully big bucks and fame are just around the corner!
There is a need to
engage in deep introspection which means you plonk yourself on a yoga mat to
meditate but give up in 2 seconds flat to update yourself on which exotic and
extravagant locale, the movers, shakers and richly compensated influencers are
holidaying in to usher in the brand new decade, so that you can go green with
envy and groan pathetically over the inadequate state of your bank account.
Immediately thereafter you resolve to do whatever it takes to rake in the
moolah, even if it means selling your soul/organs so you can vacation in Gstaad
or Bora Bora next year instead of camping out in your room drinking soda and
pretending it is champagne, while choking on your lone cupcake.
Having sworn to look
your best and get rich asap, the next step is to assure yourself that you are
no supercilious twit by setting goals for self - improvement. That means
resolving to read more books even if it extends only to sneaking into
bookstores to click a couple of pics with trending bestsellers at flattering
angles to be used for your #greedtoread hashtag before making a speedy getaway.
Picking up a new skill or hobby is a must. Obviously that means logging in to
YouTube to look at all those ‘How To’ videos that promise to make you an expert
in two minutes or attending those weekend classes and workshops that guarantee
a new improved personality/lifestyle for a reasonable fee (coffee/tea/snacks
included)!
Of course, one must
learn a new language. Perhaps one of the romance languages, so you can
communicate fluently with the locals since the plan is to become rich enough to
spend the holidays gallivanting in style across Europe. Or Hindi if you are
worried that its imposition across India is inevitable. I have made an
encouraging start and now know more swear words in Hindi than my mother tongue.
Armed thus with the
loftiest of aspirations, you can stride forth confidently into the decade and
make it your own. Bring it on!
This articles originally appeared in The New Indian Express.
