When you refer to The One, there are many who
will think of the really cute and supposedly nice Keanu Reaves who played Neo
in the Matrix films. There are more than a few who will describe The One who is
fated to be their soulmate enumerating endless impossible to emulate qualities
ranging from the physical to the emotional and psychological to the Oedipal. A
few will talk of The One who is prophesized to show up in a blaze of glory in
this sinful world and set it straight. But most will think of The One as
someone who is invaluable in their daily lives merely for being competent.
The One who will deliver food on time without
hawking up phlegm into it or getting hopelessly lost in Karnataka because he
does not speak a word of Kannada or English. The One who will take your
complaint regarding the Reverse Osmosis purifier at home, show up on time and
fix it with that priceless trait called efficiency instead of doing irreparable
damage to your already iffy mental health by failing to do the needful though
you went down on hands and knees and pleaded with some bot and paid the annual
rent for the penthouse which houses somebody 's mistress because somebody told
you if you don't, your RO purifier is doomed and so are you!
The One who holds a given job because of the
right qualifications and aptitude as opposed to a byproduct of a broken quota
system which perpetuates the evils of caste and class privilege while claiming
to do the opposite.
Irrespective of which of The Ones you yearn
for with every fibre of your being, the smart money is on this impossible quest
ending in failure, frustration and a padded cell with restraints. This is
because wielders of magic wands and heroes bearing lances can only do diddly
squat in a world where incompetence has been weaponized thanks to endless greed
and ever present entitlement.
Everybody feels free to make a mess while
nobody is willing to clean up. After themselves or others. That is because if you do anything at all in
a conscientious manner, you will be severely punished for the same with all the
lazy asses out there dumping their chores, bills, and life's responsibilities
on you simply because you are incapable of walking past a stubborn stain
without wiping it clean. Thanks to things like a deeply ingrained sense of
duty, a kind heart, or a low sense of self - worth one ends up becoming a beast
of burden and everyone's b**ch. Simply performing the tasks that need
performing comes with unfathomable risks that have sent many worker bees to an
early grave and an eternity of drudgery in the section of hell reserved for
hopeless schmucks. Not surprisingly, not many risk it.
Which is why we have butchers playing doctors,
pedophiles ending up in charge of children, hardened gangsters in charge of law
and order, and the violent and criminally insane tasked with running entire
nations. Meanwhile, we dream of The One. The One who doesn't exist outside a
make believe world, where in addition to winged unicorns and chocolate rivers,
people just do their jobs. And do it well.
This column was originally published in TNIE Magazine
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