Every single
day, without fail, there is a violent, gender - based crime that forces us to
sit up and take notice, jaded though we’ve become. In Tamil Nadu, 27-year-old
Rithanya took her own life after she was harassed for dowry, though her parents
had already spent a fortune. Inured as we are to dowry deaths, this case
generated outrage over a voice note the victim had left, in which, she confided
to her father - "There is only one man for one woman. In this birth, I got
married once, and my life is not good. That’s all. It is over." The
bereaved father mentioned this in public and while condemning those who had
driven her to death added that he was proud of her for sticking to the
"oruvanuku oruthi" concept. Roughly translated it refers to monogamy
but naturally only a woman is expected to adhere to this stricture and swear
fidelity to the first man who has seen/touched her naked body and deigned to
marry her. Men, of course are not bound by such inconvenient and impractical balderdash
and even if they choose to be lecherous, cheating, dowry - demanding deadbeats,
they feel entitled to the unswerving love and loyalty of their wives.
Further
North, Radhika Yadav was shot dead by her father while she was preparing
breakfast for him. Allegedly, the Dad from hell simply could not bear the fact
that he had been repeatedly taunted for living off his Tennis player daughter
and further rebuked for "allowing" her to run around in shorts and
athleisure wear as it was a moral affront and not at all in keeping with
India's glorious culture and tradition as per which men get to drop their pants
and pee in full view of the public while women who swim or play tennis in
sports gear can fully expect to be shot for their indecent ways. Always happy contributors
to overpowering ugliness, the trolls jumped in with slanderous accusations
claiming that Radhika was seen in the company of unsuitable men. And some of
them were love jihadists! What is a father to do?
Vociferous
indignation or caustic condemnation is not enough, and we must scrutinize the
underlying cause of such crimes. A vast majority of people still believe that a
woman's virtue depends solely on the diameter of her vagina. Too many still
hold the view that family honour is tied to a woman's body and therefore, she
must remain pure and unsullied which translates to sexually repressed for life.
Even more are inclined to see women as little more than meat to be consumed and
discarded at will, objects that can be bought and sold as per the need. Worst
of all, too few women know better.
Women have
rights. We do! We are allowed to live and love and even laugh. Really! That
means we can wear what we like, play sports, marry or not and fart as we
please. If those afflicted with performance anxiety, erectile dysfunction and
dud personalities feel like diminutive dudes who can't do diddly-squat they
have no business taking it out on women who can and will. Deal with it or be
damned!
This article was originally published in TNIE Magazine.
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