Every year, when Diwali
comes around, the Indian thing to do seems to be to get into a vehement
argument about how best to celebrate it. Firstly, there are those who insist
that bursting fireworks in an already dangerously polluted world is an
irresponsible and reckless thing to do, and call for a blanket ban of the
material which is literally explosive (Greta Thunberg would approve). These
ostensibly environment conscious folks who belong to all walks of life, would
be making an excellent point, if not for the fact that most are not quite ready
to give up flying, driving, using animal products and the rest of the things
that usually give Greta Thunberg and her fellow ecowarriors conniptions.
Then we have the
Hindutva types, who insist that Hindu festivals, traditions, rites and rituals
are unnecessarily being targeted by Godless folks and foolish intellectuals.
Since ancient times Diwali has been celebrated with ritual oil baths, the
consumption of delicious sweets and savouries guaranteed not to rot the teeth
or clog the arteries provided they are cooked with the right dose of religious
fervour, the adornment of the self with new clothes and ornaments, prayer and
the all – important fireworks. Those who claim that fireworks were invented by
vested commercial interests in China to blow up the world are liars who are
woefully ignorant of the power of our venerable sages and rishis who could put
up dazzling pyrotechnical marvels that lit up the heavens by merely twitching
their eyebrows. How dare anyone question the wisdom of the ages? It is all
these modern ideas that have prevented India from becoming a super – power and
taking over the world.
They insist that the
Gods in the pantheon will be mollified only if crackers are burst with gay
abandon during Diwali celebrations and all who say otherwise especially the
celebs who gripe about crackers exacerbating lung – related ailments but feel
free to splurge on spectacular fireworks displays to impress their firangi
husbands are anti – nationals, who are working hand in glove with ISIS. To hell
with them! As every sensible person blessed with true faith is aware, appeasing
the Gods in the traditionally approved manner will see the divinities rid the
world of all its evils. And surely that includes those dratted carbon
footprints, holes in the ozone layers, melting glaciers, and the rest of the
ominous stuff that climate change nuts, sorry activists are always harping
about?
Others can’t really be
bothered with political correctness, theological debates, and environmental
issues. It is the Instagram feeds that matter at the end of the day. Thanks to
the television and the internet where all those ads keep popping up with
unwanted diligence, it is well known that Diwali isn’t Diwali unless one is
photographed while togged out in expensive designer outfits and magnificent
pieces of jewellery not unlike those flaunted by heroines in those extravagant
historical epics and earned at least a few thousand likes across social media
platforms. If followers aren’t made sick with envy and left contemplating the
futility of an existence without similar baubles, then Diwali celebrations are
incomplete.
In the meantime, nobody
cares about the most important thing. Diwali has fallen on a Sunday this year
depriving us of the chance to holiday on a weekday. How can one celebrate this
catastrophe?
This article was originally published in The New Indian Express.
No comments:
Post a Comment